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me: did you two eat that whole loaf of bread?! momma sue: I only had two pieces. poppa greg: I have a problem, OK?! -
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me: hey, can I have some of your wine? momma sue: hell yeah! it'll make you feel better. look at me! -
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me: how how is she? mommma sue: 27. 28, maybe 30. 33. me: OK, don't hurt yourself momma sue: I'm going to stab you. -
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"you know what I’m going to do when I’m dead? I’m going to wait until you’re my age and then I’m going to haunt your ass."
tipsy times with momma sue…
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what I’ve learned this lenten season…
giving up wine during the week makes for some sloppy motherfuckers on friday night.
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Notesmomma sue: it's 5 o'clock somewhere. me: it's 5 o'clock here. -
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Notes thanksgiving good times.poppa greg making small talk with my sister and her boyfriend, patrick. poppa greg: so how'd things go in the bedroom last night? keri: what?! (while pat chokes in the background). momma sue: you're a sick fuck. poppa greg: I didn't mean like that! I meant, like did the cats get in? good job, greg. -
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NotesPoppa Greg: You know, Bill Gates is a big anthro...pologist. Me: Philanthropist. -
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Words Momma Sue Mispronounces: Beef Stroganoff
Momma Sue: I’m making beef stroking-off today.
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poppa greg: I'm just reading my book. me: that is actually called a magazine, but nice try. -
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how to grocery shop with kids.
me: remember, if you ask me for anything I will punch you in the face. madelynn & sophia: okay. -
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sophia: aunt michelle, how old are you? me: how old do you think I am? madelynn: 30. me: you bitch. -
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momma sue: Ugh, I feel like I'm going to throw up. You know that feeling? I'm feeling it. Should we get a cupcake? me: ... -
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Notesmomma sue: my cat is a dominatrix. -
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Notesjeremy: I'm a pleaser, not a teaser. momma sue: I hope your dick falls off.
